Kathleen- Day 2

Kathleen

We were able to spend a couple of days in Colorado. We visited Kathleen yesterday evening, and we are going back to see her again this evening. She seems to be doing very well. She is in Kindergarten this year, and she enjoys her class and her teacher. We were glad to be able to see her today.

More Kathleen Pictures

These are the last pictures of our visit to Kathleen.

Playground Collage

Kathleen

After leaving Bulan, we were able to visit Kathleen in North Carolina. We were glad that it worked out. She is moving to Colorado, so it might be awhile before we are able to see her again. These pictures are from Wednesday night.

Kathleen

This is one of my favorite pictures of Kathleen taken last summer (Aug 18.) It's hard to believe that this was less than one year ago. So much has happened since then.

As most of you know, Kathleen's birth mother came and picked her up this past Friday. She will be with her birth mother for now. Both birth parents have a July 30 court date for a custody hearing. I won't put any more about the situation on the blog, but will be happy to answer questions by phone or e-mail.

I have logged on to this blog to write this post several times, but words fail to express our emotions at this time. Of course we miss her, but that seems like such an inadequate phrase. We are just trying to keep busy. Partly, I don't want to do anything, because anything done seems like a betrayal. If I move forward, I am moving forward without her. If I smile or laugh, I wonder if she is happy or sad. Right now everything I do reminds me of her; everything is in some way about her.

We have tried to keep the other kids busy. I took them to the Indian Days parade on Saturday. (Kathleen would have liked that.) After Stephen got off work, we went to the campground and let the kids ride some of the rides. (Kathleen would have not liked the walk to and from, but would have loved the rides and the general excitement.) Yesterday we went to church (which Kathleen always liked) and back to Indian days in the evenings (she would have liked the snow cones and the Indian dancing that we watched.) I could go on, but you get the idea.

Eventually, I will get to the point where I don't see everything in relation to Kathleen's absence from our lives. Yesterday, church was hard, but it was also a reminder that we have such a loving church family, friends, family, neighbors, and an incredible network of support. It is hard to realize that Kathleen does not have that right now.

We are taking comfort in the fact that God is in control of the situation. As much as we love and cherish Kathleen, He loves her even more. His love is perfect and pure, unlike ours. He is never hampered by any selfishness, pettiness, short sighted vision, etc. She belongs to God more than to us, to her birth mother, or her birth father. As we struggle with the limitations of our human abilities, we know that He has no limits. We trust that He will be with her to love and comfort her in any situation she faces. We know that God can use good and bad in her life to shape her into the person that He wants her to be one day. God has a plan for her life, and though we cannot see that plan, we trust in His goodness and care for her.

In summary, please pray. Keep our whole family in your prayers, especially Isabelle. She spent most of her time with Kathleen, and this has been very hard for her. Most importantly, pray for Kathleen as she faces transition and uncertainty. Pray that she will have God's comfort in a very real way, that she will realize how precious and loved she is, and that none of this is her fault. This is a very confusing time for her, and I pray that she will be able to cling to God as the one constant in her life right now.

Artwork

On Monday, we did another outdoor project. I bought a few bags of dried beans. I gave these to the kids, along with 12x12 sheets of cardstock, and glue. They had fun creating their masterpieces. The best part is that there was almost no clean-up!

Shaving Cream

Last Monday, we painted with shaving cream. I put out a table out in the front yard. The kids helped me put shaving cream all over the table, then we mixed in different colors of food coloring and kool-aid. They had a a lot of fun making a huge mess. After they were done, I rinsed them off in the hose. This is definitely an outside activity!

Dress-up

Kathleen and Isabelle love to dress up. This time they dressed up a bear, too! They have the best time playing together. They are best friends as well as sisters.

Jamie and Kathleen

Kathleen had a chance to hold Jamie for awhile yesterday. She has been having fun helping take care of Jamie. On Sunday, she stood beside the rocking chair and gave me very detailed directions. I reminded her that I had Ian, Isabelle, and Caleb as babies. I said, "Do you think I know how to take care of a baby?" Her answer was an emphatic "No."
She has noticed that Jamie has dark hair and eyes like her, and is very excited about that. She loves picking out Jamie's clothes and she has been very helpful in bringing me things that I need for Jamie.

Sick Kids

On Tuesday, Caleb started getting sick. He seems to have caught a stomach virus in our traveling. He was very clingy and whiny. This picture is from Wednesday morning. I put him in the rocking chair, and Kathleen brought him lots of toys to keep him happy. They were very cute together.
Last night Kathleen and Isabelle both got sick too. Isabelle is back to normal today, and Kathleen is getting there. So far, Ian has not caught anything. We are supposed to leave for Kalispell tomorrow, and hopefully everyone will be well enough.

Playground

These pictures are from last Friday, when I took the kids to the playground. At the end of the summer last year, maintenance put in a small playground on the opposite side of the hospital. It just takes us a couple of minutes to walk over. When we were ready to leave some of the neighborhood kids decided to go with us. I loaded Caleb and two other small ones into the stroller. (One was a 2 yr-old who was going to follow us anyway. I wasn't sure about taking him without any adults knowing, but we went. It didn't seem to be a problem.) I had my four kids plus four other ones. We were quite a crowd!

My superheroCaleb's "owie"-- He fell while we were in Cut Bank on Friday morning getting hair cuts. It didn't bother him very much, but it looks bad.

This is one of the girls that went with us.

I am constantly telling the kids not to climb on the outside of the equipment, but they find it irresistible. At least we are close to the ER if anyone gets hurt!

Caleb is brave about climbing. He has to keep up with the big kids!

One of our neighbors that we see a lot of in warmer weather.

This is the two year old that went with us. He had shoes when we started, but they were the 7-yr olds. They wouldn't stay on his feet, but he didn't seem to mind being barefooted. This boy makes me nervous, because he is often running around in the street in front of our house. I am afraid he is going to get hit by a car, or something else will happen. It's hard to see that and not be able to do anything about it.

Our time at the playground was cut short when Isabelle decided she had to go to the bathroom. This led Kathleen to declare that she also had to go. What can you do? I gathered up all eight kids and we headed back-- until next time.

Goat Lick

We went to Kalispell this weekend. On the way we stopped at the Goat Lick overlook. We didn'ti see any goats there, but it was a good excuse for the kids to get out and stretch their legs.

Isabelle and Kathleen were a little chilly without their jackets!

I'm not sure what Isabelle is doing in this picture. I promise I didn't pinch her. I think she and Kathleen were fighting over seating arrangements.